Technology-facilitated coercive control

Introduction

Jennifer knows that she is not very tech-savvy. Her partner, Ashley, tells her this often. In fact, Ashley has forbidden Jennifer from accessing their online bank accounts. He says they cannot trust her online, as she might “lose” their money by accidentally transferring it. Ashley won’t give Jennifer the password to their online accounts and tells her that when she wants money, she is to come to him to ask for the amount and he will then give her the cash.

This situation is an example of coercive control – a pervasive pattern of intimidating, manipulating and threatening (that is, coercive) abusive behaviour. Coercive control has received a growing amount of attention in the media, given the fundamental role that coercive and controlling behaviours play in intimate partner and family violence.

In this article, we focus on technology-facilitated coercive control – the use of technology to coerce and abuse. It can cover a range of behaviours towards another person, including, but not limited to:

• harassing the person by sending multiple text messages

• monitoring their social media accounts

• logging into their accounts without their permission

• installing location-tracking apps on their phone

• posting abusive messages on their social media.

How easy is it to identify technology-facilitated coercive control?

Let’s return to the Jennifer and Ashley scenario. Ashley forbids Jennifer from accessing their online accounts, withholds the password, and controls her access to money. These behaviours are obviously rather controlling.

However, the element of coercion may not always be as clear – in fact, it can be quite subtle, which makes it hard to spot.

In this scenario, the threat is that if Jennifer accesses the online bank account, she might somehow lose all their money because she doesn’t know what she’s doing. This instils a sense of fear in Jennifer, and she is then more likely to comply with Ashley’s request. Ashley may not be threatening Jennifer outright, but threats and manipulation are still being used to create control over her.

Identifying technology-facilitated coercive control is not always straightforward. This is because – like coercive control in general – it is a pervasive pattern of abusive behaviour. The behaviour is repetitive and builds over time.

Aren’t there any warning signs along the way?

Let’s say you meet someone for a first date. On this date, they demand your passwords for all your social media accounts so they can ensure that if they continue to date you, you are going to remain faithful to them. Most people would consider this demand a serious ‘red flag’ and be out of there faster than you can say ‘cheque, please’.

This is not how coercive control works. Coercive control, by design, is insidious and grows gradually. By the time someone realises they are experiencing abuse and control in a relationship, they may genuinely wonder how it happened.

Another warning sign can be a controlling, coercive behaviour that occurs initially as a “once-off”. For example, let’s say that in the middle of a fight where someone believes their partner is being unfaithful, they demand their partner give them the passcode to their iPhone so they can look through their partner’s messages. They threaten to end the relationship if their partner doesn’t give them the passcode.

Is this behaviour a warning sign of coercive control? The behaviour appears controlling, and there is certainly the element of coercion (i.e., the threat of ending the relationship). But broadly, technology facilitated coercive control, and coercive control, is considered repetitive – there is a pattern of coercive, controlling behaviour.

Although a once-off behaviour may not meet the definition of technology facilitated coercive control, what is important to note is that this behaviour can be a warning sign – this first time could trigger a pattern of coercive controlling behaviour. For example, the partner now demands weekly access to their partner’s iPhone and social media accounts to ensure their partner remains faithful. If their partner refuses to provide all passcodes and passwords, they will end the relationship.

Identifying technology-facilitated coercive control

So far, these examples have been in the context of intimate relationships, but coercive control can occur in other relationships, too. For older adults, elder abuse could take the form of technology-facilitated coercive control – for example, the carer could control and restrict an older person’s online access to their own finances.

The first step in addressing technology-facilitated coercive control is identifying it, which can be difficult. One way to tell is to look beyond the perpetrator’s behaviour and consider the experience of the victim-survivor. If a victim-survivor accepts the coercive control because they are fearful, intimidated or distressed, this could generally be a good indicator that the behaviour they are experiencing is abusive.

One of the best ways we can address technology-facilitated coercive control is through understanding that it’s a pattern of behaviour. What may begin as harmless behaviour grows and festers over time to become a sustained, recurring practice.

What can you do about technology-facilitated coercive control?

The earlier we can identify, and protect, ourselves from coercion and control in relationships, the better our chances of stopping the behaviour in its tracks. If another person’s behaviour is making you feel unsafe, uncomfortable or even fearful, there is a good chance that something is wrong.

If you believe that you, or someone you know, is experiencing technology-facilitated coercive control, what can you do?

• First, remember to seek help safely. Calling 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) can help with this – just remember that you may need to make this phone call from a safe phone (such as a friend’s phone).

• The eSafety Commissioner’s website has resources for creating an online safety plan. 1800 RESPECT can assist in creating this plan.

• There are a range of other supports available to support you, such as 13 YARN (13 92 76), a culturally safe crisis support line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, and the Family Relationship Advice Line (1800 050 321).

The goal of technology-facilitated coercive control is to make the victim-survivor feel isolated and helpless to escape the abuse. If this is happening to you, or someone you know, help is there for you.

Associate Professor Evita March (She/Her) is a leading international expert in online behaviour, relationships, and individual differences. Evita is invited to present to national and international academic and industry audiences and is regularly approached by media to comment on current events that lead public debate on cyber abuse and safety.

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